Costs of Romancing..

I feel I've had to endure drowning in a sea of uni work, though resuscitated only by the weekend. It seems this cycle will be continuing for the next few weeks (unfortunately). If only life were set out so that they week were divided evenly for work and leisure/rest!

I had been left to feel this way when I didn't end up feeling entirely content when I had to kiss my special somebody goodbye last night. It is also why I simply have to get myself a larger slice of contentment by meeting up with my special somebody again tonight.

I know the consequences. I'll be pushing back the study items on my schedules, I'll probably want to pull my hair out after some procrastination sessions, and often I may end up rather discombobulated as to why I didn't anticipate such a workload increase. But for some precious moments with my special somebody, its a small price to pay.

Hopeless romantic? To a degree but who is to say romance cannot be ones priority?

Snuggles

Late autumn afternoon. Slightly chilly.

And where I was, ideal.

And what I felt, bliss.

Wrapped by a fur quilt and the secure embrace of the one...

It was just nice.

A peculiar 'niceness' that I have not experienced from similar situations with anybody else. Not even him before. But the now is all that matters sometimes.

Snuggles, footsies, tracing the contours of his back with my figers, and occassionally making poor attempts to decipher what lies beyond his dark eyes.

The only thing left for me to do, exhale.

I love him.

'I'm a big big girl in a big big world'

I'm at a point where what was 'my future' is slowly dissolving into 'my present'. Wonderful though scary. I would say that I am the type of person who first dreams, makes her dreams her goal, and then makes her goal her reality.

During the last week, serious soul searching has led me to map out my life. I know where I will be now. People say life can lead you to all different directions. I don't particularly agree. It doesn't fit with the above progression I have stated.

I have control.

Though here is what may seem to be an irony. I am a subjectivist but I am also an objectivist. I believe we exist as an individual and that we exist as part of a society. I believe we are free though are also deterministic (unconsciously driven towards goal-states..all of us).

How is this reconcileable? Answer: Bourdieu-an philosophy.

I have been born into an almost ideal 'field'. I've been brought up to value education, love, integrity, and character. I am now in a position to grab hold of these manifestations of my values. The cultural capital circulating around my world.

Sometimes I still wonder how everything has fallen into place. Sometimes I heuristically think its divine. But, no. Ultimately, I was born and I worked towards possessing the 'things' that I value.

Stepping Towards Modeling

Oh, I am NOT a morning person.

I found myself rushing ridiculously to get to a 1pm appointment at Bliss Modeling Agency at Balmain, as I only left my house at 12:20.

This must mean I am not an early afternoon person either!

If it weren't for my GPS there could not have been any chance of me only arriving 5 minutes late. Though wow, what a bad start to trying to get into modeling.

My Little Brother's 10th Birthday

Dwayne seriously is the coolest kid you could ever meet!

He is now 10 and exactly 10 years and 8 days younger than I am. Many regard him as a lil Kim (boy version) and in so many ways this is true. Not only is their such a strong physical resemblance between us, he is super kulit, talkative, social, lazy with school work, interested in national geographic and psychology, and showing abilities in the performing arts (particularly drama).

While he was munching on his sushi dinner, Tim jokingly greeted him "Happy 20th Birthday" and asked what he wanted to do this weekend. Dwayne replied with "clubbing". Tim and I then asked "where?" and he specified "Gossip". We couldn't help cracking up.

This kid knows his older sister too well! Or alternatively, has a highly developed 'Theory of Mind' as Developmental Psychologists would say.

How I would love to bring my brother out during my clubbing escapades! Sometimes I even feel sad leaving home knowing I can't bring him with me. But, I suppose the joys of being a big sister to such a cool kid outweighs the fact we can't enjoy times people like-aged to me can.

I wouldn't have a lil mass of sunshine in mini-human form wondering around the house to cuddle, talk about mini-human things to, and watch go through all the experiences I would have forgotten about or taken forgranted (like adding your first few friends to your msn account).

I feel so blessed to be Dwayne's ate :)

Sometimes its a good thing that "accidents happen"..

Easter Monday 2009/ My First Blog

Only got out of bed maybe 2.5hrs ago. So as it can be gathered from that, today shall be spent in a chilled, relaxed, and lazy fashion. I am still trying to recover from 3 consecutive weekends of nightclubbing because although many people wouldn't believe this, I don't do it every week (this only happened to occur because it was my birthday on the 6th)! But I will not deny that I have the most amazing time alongside my gorgeous girls and my ESO crew!

My afternoon consisted of Fruitloops, TV, fried chicken, icetea, Mount Franklin, Facebook, emails, and a short-and-sweet phone convo with Tim.

Flicking through channels I noticed a program on SBS entitled the 'Australia Show'. It seemed to be celebrating the cultural diversity in this great great land and I found myself so consumed by the show. Despite the not-so-fantastic quality of the television recording. It showcased various dance and vocal performances from an array of social groups, constantly bouncing back from the 'Australiana' sort to that of ethnic minorities. I loved it! If only someone could have added some Bayanihan Dancing in there hehe.

I also came across a special on Katie Noonan and her new solo album 'Blackbird - the music of Lennon and McCartney' (I think that is what the title is called). I know know what my next album purchase will be! Katie Noonan is one of the most amazing singers I've ever heard and the concept of the album is pure innovation. It features a number of Beatles hits treated as jazz standards.

Might need to immerse myself into this kind of music once more and maybe take a break from my typical music of choice nowadays - all the RnB/HipHop heavy bass club tunes. Not that thers anything wrong with it!

But I really do think I need some chill time..

Maybe to some yoga or ballet? Hmmm any possible alternatives?